I don’t even know where to start. All I know is, I feel dumb.
I met this guy about a year ago and we became friends. He commented on my Facebook page and I replied. Then, I went to his profile. “Wow, he’s really handsome”, I thought. I continued to converse with him via Facebook after that. Around that time, I wasn’t getting to know anyone else on any level because I’m celibate and a lot of guys either try to change that or can’t handle it. I ended up befriending him off the internet. But it felt different this time. He never brought up my celibacy or made it a big deal. So anyway, I was writing a blog and needed some male input. I asked him for his point of view and I loved the way he thought. We inboxed a couple of times after that before I shot him my number. We never talked about us dating or anything…just the typical conversation you would have with a friend. I don’t know what made me take those convos and FaceTime calls as “he may have a secret crush on me, too” because he never even asked me for a date. He was easy to talk to though, and I liked that about him. We talked about everything so why wouldn’t he tell me if he liked me?
SO HERE IT GOES…
After getting to know each other for a while It was time for us to see each other in person. I had never seen him in person even though he said he’s seen me out before. Before meeting we talked daily from like 7 am until bedtime. I mean this “just talking” went on for months before we even met. He traveled for work and only came home every three months. So, meeting face to face took some time. Our convos then became more and more sexual….
We started sending pics back and forth.
I was thinking FINALLY a man I could have sex with. I had been celibate for a year, and ya girl just wanted to be with someone I was attracted to physically and mentally. I mean, I’d met guys while being his friend…but they didn’t give me the vibe he gave me. I picked him to be the person I gave this cat that’s been on the rocks for a minute.
The time came for us to meet.
He told me he’d be home soon, but he would never tell me the exact date. One day I texted him “come here when you get to Memphis” with my location attached. The next thing I knew HE WAS OUT FUCKING SIDE.
I didn’t even know he was in the city.
I was so nervous.
I went outside to see him and he was walking away from me looking for me outside. I yelled his name.. Damn I didn’t even tell you his name.
Let’s call him ” John”
So yea, I yelled his name. He turned around and we both started smiling from ear to ear. We talked, laughed, and hugged and said we’d meet up after he watched the Mayweather fight. Now, we met via Facebook around May, we didn’t get to meet until the night of the fight. Talk about anxious! I wanted to meet him so bad. When we walked off from each other my Va jay jay was soaking wet, I could smell his cologne on me, and I had butterflies. Later that day he came back and we went to the casino. While at the casino he held my hand, rubbed my leg, and kept touching me. That’s intimate. That’s something you do when you like a person, right? I honestly felt like the” crush” was fucking mutual.
Think THE FUCK NOT.
Funny shit… we had this agreement
When he got to Memphis, IT WAS GOING DOWN!
He later said he didn’t want to have sex so soon. This man that had a purple cock ring in his car that same night in plain view. I pointed at it and said, “is this a ding a ling ring?” He was so embarrassed and blamed it on his friend that would keep his car.
Let me also point this out: even though a man wants to have sex with you, that doesn’t mean he “wants” you. He could have very well wanted to have sex with me and still not wanted me like I wanted him. While he was still in town, he said: “let’s do lunch”.
Let’s do lunch – a friend zone curve. It means I don’t want to date you, I just wanna get food and I don’t mind having company while doing so. I peep game.
You ask women you want to date “let me take you out” or something like that.
He ended up being too busy for lunch as he was trying to get his son settled into a new school.
He would still throw hints that he was feeling me. He said “If I didn’t talk to somebody right now, it would be on. I’d be sending for yo ass.”
Now before you say ” Icis now you know damn well..”
I remember him saying he “just talked” to somebody when we first met. I didn’t think it was serious until now. Time went on and I kinda put my feelings in my pocket and just continued being a good friend to a good guy. I should probably tell you more about him huh? Well, he’s AMAZING!!!! I really think that whoever he chooses to be with would probably be the happiest woman in the world. He listens, he has a brain, he loves his mom, he loves the shit out of his son, he’s respectful, he looks nice, smells nice, he compliments you, he’s funny and all the other good shit. I posted that I was doing a hair company class and he sent me $600 (out of his pocket) for his cousin to take my class with no questions asked. He was mad supportive. Although he probably has some flaws, he’s an amazing man for the most part. I mean I don’t want to bash him or anything. I just had to shake the little liking I had left in me.
I texted him one day and he didn’t reply. I waited and texted again the next day.NO ANSWER!!!
5-6 days passed and this motherfucker hadn’t said a word. I clicked on his Facebook page to see if anything was wrong, and Facebook shows you the last time a person logged on. That fat motherfucker had logged on that morning. I told myself that day “here you are talking to a man who knows how to court a woman but has never courted you. He woke up 6 times this week and didn’t hit you up once. This man hasn’t sent you a Walgreens rose but you like him?” When he finally contacted me after 6 days of silence, he said his phone was messed up.
He called and texted me like 2-3 days after. I didn’t answer. He wished me a Merry Christmas via Facebook messenger that December. I said “ditto”.
Valentine’s Day rolls around and he inboxed me again. We started talking then about how we missed each other. I missed him. He had a way with his words, That fat motherfucker would make my knees weak just by texting me and telling me what he was going to do to me. From that point, we were back to our old ways. When he came home, he hugged all on me, kissed all on me, even took my boobs out of my bra. Two weeks, later out of the blue said he wanted to drop by and see me again, but he knows we would have ended up fucking and said he doesn’t want to “mess up our friendship by having sex.” Right after sending me a pic of his dick print. What messed up our friendship was you sending mixed messages. I completely stopped talking to him. I don’t care about being just friends, but it’s unfair for you to deal with me the way you did. He texted and said he doesn’t know what he be doing to me, but he apologizes and he was on his way over. I declined and he asked me to pull up on him. I DECLINED. If you wanna be my homeboy, be just that.
Here’s my text to him :
“You said something about sex messing up our friendship, but then continued to say flirty things to me. I didn’t like that. I mean number fucking one your ass was just at my house tonguing me down prior to that statement. So, no, sex wouldn’t have messed up our friendship. You sending mixed messages did. If you wanted to be friends, we could have just been that…..”
I could have BEEEEEEEN got some ding a ling. I was waiting on him. Do you know how many dudes I’ve looked over because of him?
I’m mad that I wasted my fucking time.
He wanted to keep me on the shelf in a jar if he ever needed it. I also think he may have gotten serious with the other woman he was “just talking” to when we met.
What do you guys think?